I. Author. 006

   I'm willing to bet we all remember the first time. I bet we can all picture that moment exactly as it happened. You know the first time. Remember?

  Remember how you smiled even as you desperately hoped to control the urge to giggle thanks to the large butterflies, the size of Mothra that beat their wings in your stomach? Remember how your hands turned ice cold and shook in anticipation? Remember how you prayed you wouldn't make a fool of yourself when you knew there would be no backing away, no inopportune buddy interrupting, no bell ringing, and no witnesses? 

   Remember how you glanced into each other's eyes and fell victim to an awkward, yet pregnant silence? How you squirmed with the agony to touch, unsure what to do? Remember how you nearly forgot to breathe as you scrambled for something to say, but the awkward silence just lingered and your gaze proved too powerful a magnet as you both leaned in? 

   Remember?

   Remember how your mind went blank and you were hesitant, but only until you lowered your eyes to each other's lips and you KNEW. You just knew!

   Remember how you rehearsed that moment more than you'll ever care to admit, but nothing prepared you for when your eyes closed, your face tilted slightly, your lips touched, and you knew you'd never be the same?

   Remember how suddenly, all your senses were overwhelmed by each other's proximity, the scent of each other's skin and the taste of each other's breath was forever imprinted in your souls? 
   Remember how strings were pulled from above and your hands sought to feel the warmth of each other's skin, your fingers traced the contours of your faces? How your hair tickled the bridge of your noses, but neither of you dared to move away? 

   Remember the herculean effort it took to close your lips just to draw breath then boldly opening them to each other once more? How your tongues danced and dueled in small little twirls that jolted every nerve ending in your bodies?

   Remember how life took on a whole new meaning and time stood still? How you felt pain when you finally parted only to get lost in each other's eyes for a long moment before closing the distance with a second kiss that became better than the first?

   I sure remember, because I wrote it down the very night it happened.

   It was by no means a gem of literature, but I found words that conveyed enough of what I felt that night as I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, which served as a movie screen for the projector in my mind, my hands beneath my head, and a wide grin on my face.

   Some moments have no description, and it's a challenge to bring them alive on the page. Although that piece of paper I tore out of my notebook vanished along with the kid I was that day in '87 when I first kissed my summer camp crush, the memory resides in a corner of my heart and often feels the urge to bleed onto the page.

   I find new words to arrange and rearrange in the hopes of bringing that moment back to life, but I'm afraid I fail miserably. I just can't write it. Still, I can't help smiling at the little bit of irony.

   The first kiss may have never happened the way it did, if it weren't for another piece of paper where I shakily wrote my first love letter.

   I don't remember a single word I wrote to the prettiest girl in summer camp to me, and that's perhaps for the better.

   I do remember that it was sincere, innocent, and as passionate as the voice of a crushed out twelve year old boy can be. 

   Inspiration hit me as I watched her smile at her friend and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear before she looked my way. I knew if I didn't write that letter, I would explode. 

   The letter found its way into her hands one warm Thursday morning in August. I don't know who gave it to her. I'd been so distracted I didn't even remember losing it, but somehow, after a long walk in the woods with the group, she pulled me away under the pretext that she needed my help gathering sticks for a fire and showed me the letter.

   My face burned like the flat river stones around us, but before I could walk away, she took me by the hand. I matched her smile despite my nearly uncontrollable urge to giggle as giant butterflies the size of Mothra beat their wings inside my stomach and my hands went cold as I shook with anticipation. I prayed I wouldn't make a fool of myself, knowing there was no getting away. None of my buddies would interrupt this time, we were nowhere near a bell that might ring and break the spell. We had no witnesses but the woods around us and fell victim to an awkward, yet pregnant silence. I almost forgot to breathe as I scrambled for something to say, but the silence lingered and her gaze proved too powerful a force that pulled me in...and we kissed...

   

to be continued...